Search

For it is in expression lies our greatest strength

30 January Blog : Every day since then has been special…

I am living through the people in my life

Being born and brought up in the safe and secured custody of parents,I pictured the world as perfect. My world in fact always is platonically perfect except for the challenges propelled at me through the wonderful and the best people around me. They are the most learned people who teach me that I need to learn so much and do my own Human Revolution. And the sad part of the story is that I don’t know what everyone wants to teach . 

I have come across multitudes of souls who feel that they are blessed to have me but then I can’t underestimate the ones who hate me, and continue to dislike me and then there are the ones who disregard My existence or who deceived me and when I receive the blow , I am like ,,,What was that!! Gorgeous.. 

Why do people want to change the world… Unflinchingly fail to comprehend and i eventually fanatically move around clueless … Lost … Total failure to understand what humanity is….

Yes I took many years to get enlightened that humans are humans and so did others . So here is my dedication to all of them…

*****†**********”***************”

I am living through the people in my life


I came to you 

Like an angel wrapped up in wondrous smiles

And you gave me the skills and values and gave me to the world… 

My first gift

The world of stars ….

Are nothing but the stones and light of someone else 

They dazzle but fizzle at daylight 

They are heartless 

and so

They are not my stars 

 I continue my journey to the endless search 

Then I met an ocean 

Vast ,deep and complicated 

A jungle instilling fear 

Sometimes the cool breeze did blow 

But that was close to storm 

Uprose and uprooted the earth  from its core

Leaving it ashtray to bind itself again.. 
I live in the world of humans who are human for themselves and inhuman for others 

They are beautiful because their selfies are perfect 

They wear white shoes but their feet are black 

They like the ice cream before it melts 

But fail to see the tears which falls from a human eye

They want to hear music when they are sad 

Spoiling someone’s symphony through the poison of their heart

Fret ,baffled and tired I move across 

And I come back to you 

Where my tree grows 

Nutured till eternity 

Under the shade of your love 

heavens blaze forth under your blessings… 

And I continue to close my eyes  ,smile and move on

Coz this is my life and my life is long 

I have to live myself through these people and I have to live long..

Advertisements

Humanism versus Religion

I am a Humanist because I refuse to wait on fairy tales to fix the world. Be good and do good. Live every feeling without fear.

Continue reading “Humanism versus Religion”

P for Papa and M for Maa

They say God cant be present everywhere so he made parents for us so that we know the value of selflessness and unabated support and love. 
We all are blessed with these Rarest gems who at every moment shower their love on us . When we falter, instead of hating us , they embrace us with a smile and before we know we are forgiven and our mistakes forgotten unquestioned. We never think before asking, we never ask before thinking.. everything is just available to us served in a platter of happiness and joy. They would know by my smile only …
The ecstasy to share my life with my Maa and Paa has been the greatest and the most beautiful part of my journey which I value till I am alive. Their values to me is their greatest and the most powerful legacy which I bore in my heart and in my behaviour forever. 
Yesterday I was talking to my father over phone and he asked me the difference between Knowledge and Behaviour? And I was imagining all sorts of responses and I shared them too. My father patiently listened to my whatever everything replies and then said ” When knowledge fails, Behaviour works.” Yes this is something which is so true. It’s like something engraved in my deepest beings and I will remember this till My memory allows me to hold this in my soul. Such lessons in my enlightened journey and the boldness and strength of my mother is my richest heritage…,

Arrogance thy name is ……….

 

How to Deal With Self-Centered People

 

Most of the time, arrogance can indicate an excessive need for self-importance and wanting to be the center of attention. In its extreme form, it can turn into narcissism. It could be the root of many problems, from anxiety to depression to the inability to sustain healthy and fulfilling relationships. While normal levels of self-worth, self-confidence and self-value are all essential for people who want to be fully functioning, there is a line between these characteristics and being arrogant.

Most of you have probably had an encounter with a self-centered person. The first piece of advice for dealing with such people is to try to stay away from them, or to have clear boundaries with them since they may become energy vampires. But if you absolutely have to deal with them, below are some ways to understand why they act the way they do. It will give you skills to deal with them.

Some of the characteristics of self-centered people:

  1. Arrogant people take too many measures to protect their self-image. Their universe is usually small, with statements that have too many “should” and “must.” They have idealist views, and a need to impose and make others believe that their universe is the better one. They will usually dislike you if you don’t buy into that.
  2. They usually have a lot of friends, but just superficially. Their friendship is mostly about quantity not quality. They can be charming, but have an agenda. Their agenda is to find an ego feeder. They may have found ways to attract a lot of people into their world, but usually the ones who feed into their arrogance.

    3. They feel incomplete. That is why they use other people to fill up the inner gap.

    4. They are intolerant of differences. They devalue others and put them at a lesser position. They lack the ability to feel confidence internally, and instead find a sensation of superiority by seeing others as inferior. In addition, they can’t see different viewpoints. They usually have points of views that are fixated and most of the time not valid, since they are usually the type who only reads the cover of the magazine to look smart, and then is opinioned about it. They may also harshly criticize others who don’t buy into their views.

  3. They are unable to have long lasting relationships. For them, people are either very good or very bad, depending on who admires them and who does not. In other words, if you fulfill their wishes, you’re good. They can be your lover one minute and a hater the next.
  4. They can’t feel a true sense of empathy. It is hard for self-centered people to have a real sense of empathy. Even if they do, it is usually conditional, depending on what they are receiving from the source they are empathizing with.
  5. They may have self-esteem holes. Self-esteem is how well developed your sense of self is. For the arrogant type, there are a lot of holes in this area that need to be filled.
  6. They may look too confident. They are usually successful on the surface and things look good since they go the extra mile to make their persona look as flawless as possible. But when you go deep inside, the real feeling of inadequacy reveals itself.
  7. They have failed attempts to self-heal. For an arrogant person, the problem is usually “you” or the “other.” Therefore, self-healing or therapy won’t be helpful to them.
  8. “What is in it for me” gone too far. They usually maximize their contributions and minimize that of others. They expect too much for what they are willing to give. This is the type that thinks his government, society, people around him and the world owes it to him without him giving much in return. While any healthy functioning human does relative levels of cost benefit analysis in different situations, a self-centered person looks for vast benefits with minimum effort, and this is usually at the expense of others.

What to do:

  1. Don’t be their door mat, and have clear boundaries with them.

    2. If you have to defend yourself, make it short and to the point since they are not the best listeners, and have a thick wall guarding their self-image.

  2. Don’t buy into their arrogance, don’t feed their excessive sense of self-importance, stay true to yourself and be sincere.
  3. If you get into a position that you have to assert yourself, don’t attack them, but show that you don’t agree.
  4. Don’t get attached to them.
  5. Have an open mind and be tolerant.
  6. Be patient.
  7. Learn to observe and evaluate their behavior objectively.

At the end, try to not hate self-centered people. Have compassion for them since they usually have had a past that created a wrong type of self-protection mode for them. There is a part of them that they don’t like and are trying hard to cover. While many people have had pasts that are not perfect, nor close to it, self-centered people are lacking the skills to address these issues in a productive way. Instead of facing it, they are hiding it. At the end, remember that you can have compassion for someone, but at the same time hold them accountable for their actions and have clear self-boundaries.

The Predicament

I used to teach this. Every time I used to read this , a soft tear would trickle down my cheek. Few incidents compelled me to go back the memory lane but also share this…


The story The Address is all about human predicament that follows war. The story narrates how a daughter goes to her native place in Holland in search of her mother’s belongings after the war.

In the beginning of the story it is narrated how the protagonist was given a cold reception when she went to her native place after the war in search of her mother’s belongings. After ringing the bell of

House Number 46 in Marconi Street, a woman opened the door. On being introduced,the woman kept staring at her in silence. There was no sign of recognition on her face. The woman was wearing

her mother’s green knitted cardigan. The narrator could understand that she had made no mistake. She asked the woman whether she knew her mother. The woman could not deny this. The narrator wanted to talk to her for sometime. But the woman cautiously closed the door. The narrator stopped there for sometime and then left the place.

In the subsequent sections, the memories of the narrator’s bygone days come to light. Her mother had provided the address years ago during the war. She went to home for few days. She could find that various things were missing. At that time her mother told her about Mrs Dorling. She happened to be an old acquaintance of the narrator’s mother. Lately she had renewed contact with her and had been coming there regularly. Every time she left their house she took something home with her. She told that she wanted to save all their nice possessions. The next day the narrator saw Mrs Dorling going out of their house with a heavy suitcase. She had a fleeting glimpse of Mrs Dorling’s face. She asked her mother whether the woman lived far away. At that time the narrator’s mother told about the address: Number 46,Marconi Street. After many days the after the war,the narrator was curious to take record of the possessions that must still be at Number 46, Marconi Street. With this intention she went to the given address.

The concluding part of the story describes the second visit of the narrator. As the narrator’s first visit yielded no result so she planned to go once again. Interestingly, a girl of fifteen opened the door to her. Her mother was not at home. The narrator expressed her wish to wait for her. The girl accompanied her to the passage. The narrator saw an old fashioned iron candle holder hanging next to a mirror. The girl made her sit in the living room and went inside. The narrator was horrified to find herself in a room she knew and did not know. She found herself in the midst of familiar things which she longed to see again but which troubled her in the strange atmosphere. She had no courage to look around her. But she no longer had desire to possess them. She got up, walked to the door, and left the room. She resolved to forget the address and moved on.

Thanking You … With Love

They say ‘ As you sow so shall you reap’. I have heard the the whole universe is strung with the law of cause and effect. Surrounded by the self proclaimed good doers and the perfectionists, sustaining with selfless actions is difficult. Anything you do and every unconditional action is a zilch. You cannot escape their stark critical assessment.So I am thankful to the unthankful, to the ungrateful and the unappreciative .. You make me understand life and the living….

The Self Love Drive

And so you must consider yourself fortunate if you haven’t come across one of them!!

I am talking about the people who’re always right,Who think that you know nothing.They have a cynical remark for everything you think, say or do. They are not cantankerous actually but could be picking up your most trivial faults . Right the focus goes to look for negatives always and overlooking the good which is happening in the lives and around.

Some people have no intentional Inclination to Look down upon you but they take a sadistic pleasure to prove that their perspective is right…. Always🙄

Are you attuned to unhappiness and magnetising your thoughts to the negtives. If they be the case, trust me you’ll u will lose on the people who love you and care for you selflessly.

In this selfish world,you hardly find a lovable heart and soul. A piece of advice may not do wonders but at least it will save the people from hurt and heart break. 

Just appreciate,count your blessings and look at the positive side. We all are in grey. No one is either black or white. If I am imperfect ,so are you..you and you all. I think we should stop blame my others . 

Accept and live life simple and gracefully and love in abundance…

Nothing comes back like time!!!

Instalments of Happiness 

It is said 

The good you do comes back to you and the bad remains with you… Always.

This can be a USP of any life. But I have sometimes felt a flip side of this thought. Not a revolutionary idea but on close observation feel it is so true. If you love someone, care for someone unconditionally, here love connotes love in any relation, it may not be returned in the same way as we know. Every individual  has their own belief system for expressing themselves. 

To be continued….,

Abrupt silences

Deep down in her heartLived an array of emotions and grudges

Stopping her to see her beauty

And

To live in her life
Abrupt words and silences are painful. Be simple , be transparent …. Love someone who loves you with all your heart and being

Dedication n loyalty are not merely words . They are our life line …

Obsession woes

At the end of the day, tell yourself gently: ‘I love you, you did the best you could today, and even if you didn’t accomplish all you had planned, I love you anyway
Writing a thought like this needs a lot of courage especially when you are surrounded by rambunctious and overly mean natured individuals. But trust me on this we are all caught in the dilemmas that it becomes very difficult to react to people and situations which bumps in your lap from just about no where. Whatever , situations are challenging , and somewhere during hopeless times we start to question our integrity and existence. During those times , trust your inner instincts … Smile and say it aloud to yourself ‘ I Love You’ … 

It’s important to be loving yourself. But the question which pops into my head is What about the creatures who are self obsessed. Who are ready to blame others for any mistake they make or any misfortune which falls upon them . May be Its a long way to go and I still have to understand life and its people….

For the love of teaching…

“I don’t know what I do as far as it is my passion; And I know that desires may go haywire but being passionate is your call of your soul”.  #ShikhaQuotes

Holding hands of a child and letting him stroll through the knowledge lane from unknown to a territory which lights his wisdom is my passion . It would not be wrong to say that I am so grateful for being in such a noble profession. 

I am just about a regular teacher but I know that when my students are caught in a situation they are never ashtray ; they know how to tackle things on their own. Yes I don’t believe in pampering them it is because I want them to learn on their own so that they don’t become dependent on anyone. I want to fill them with values which initially they doubt of but which will help them become a better human. But they know that I am always there whenever it is difficult and I won’t mind chopping their hands if they falter.

I feel proud of each one of them. 

Sorry ! The Stars are not Heavenly

Of recently I have been caught in a squirming trap and makes me hard to share any interests with astrological predictions. This,I say with assurity assuming that not many of you out there would be interested in. How can I be sure of that becomes easy when I am cent percent aware of the fact that you have already checked your horoscopes. 

I feel pathetic about the gullibility of the masses who resort to such astrological crutches in order to hide their own Incapabilities to handle things.  A handful of astrologers know the weakness in character and tend to use it on their stride. They make irresponsible statements without ensuing the actions which have equivalent or opposite reactions.I myself got into the trap but I was lucky to survive that because God is on my side. And… If this is so then ,I am fearless. I should not let myself caught in a trivial mindset. Just trust and live in faith. Whatever has happened is the best and what is happening we have no control over so just relax and watch the stars till they turn to your favour . Remember no human has power to make or break you. Only you have it and everything lies within.

Racism of Feelings

Be cautious…

There may be a flower hidden in the heap of thorns,

A tear veiled in that beautiful smile.

Thousand hidden painful words behind the cracking words,

I have seen a helping hand knows how to stab…

Be courageous….

As life is as good as can be,

It cannot hide its facets like humans.

It presents you with light so that we don’t despair darkness,

It beautifies us with spring covered with its best harvest…

The glistening masked faces, the stormy dark skies,

Wander searchingly for love through the glittering eyes.

Do not consider me a pacifier,

I may be at war with my soulful desires..

Have given to the world the best as can be,

Now time to present all the colorful shades of me…

Coz black-n- white is the hue of the coward.

Perception is but a thing of choice,

And,

I choose not to be happy in disguise….

Rays of Uninterrupted Blessings

Well I am blessed!!I keep telling to myself and this is no exaggeration. Feeling happy, satiated, fulfilled, having a loving supportive family, a well settled and a very satisfying career, a spiritual insight, extended sense of righteousness, and a thorough heartfelt compassion for others. So it’s what you can say an ideal life.

This life and our surroundings are abounding in situations and people who help us to grow. Sometimes a thing doesn’t work and we blame others for the unsuccessful beat. Why can’t we accept it as something which is not right for us at the moment? We behave like children getting obstinate to possess things not meant for us. We go far to the extent failing to understand the workings and as a result prefer to live in sulk and gloom. How many times a day you find about thinking about things not working for you? Once, twice or somewhere at the back of the mind it keeps running 24*7 making our hearts heavy. We are smiling from outside but inside we feel cold- shut out from every blessing, brooding over just about every failure. We put a defensive front like- BREAKING NEWS: I don’t exist.

So what is interruption!! Complaints, grudges, lack of appreciation, comparing ourselves to others, life’s over darkened ways, dearth of human values boggles us nearly forever night and day.

It has the capacity to rob us of the basic living happiness. Hanged face, not enjoying the company of others, trying to escape from social gatherings, unable to socialize with others, finding a reason to talk about negatives from the past, believing overly in astrology, blaming the destiny, shifting your responsibilities on others, living happily in solitude in your own world . If you have answered YES to any of the above then “You” would be shocked to believe it but you are Blocking the blessings into your life.

So un-complicate the life and let it be a life wherein you are living everyday to its fullest. What has happened will happen !!!

A Correct Beginning is an end in itself

 

 

We become what we are today because of the choices we make. This is not an overstatement. But how many of us are compatible in our thinking to the fact that our actions in the early years of development lead us to become and form our behavior and attitudes. Good habits and bad habits- well! I have never been able to come to terms to the idea that these can be differentiated and there exists a thin line of demarcation between the two. In line of this, we come to question ourselves of the relevance of good habits and how a good habit is developed.

Today morning, I reached the school in a comfortable time period. It facilitated me with sufficient time to have a leisurely stroll through the corridors as also there was thin population in the school and the school corridors were relatively empty. Few noises could be heard from the classrooms. Seeing a dark room, I went inside to switch on the lights. The primary class student rushed towards me to wish me and guide me as I was confused about which switch would turn on the fan and lights. The ignited smiling face of the little boy with a pride of achievement made me to smile back at the child. His next question was the permission he was seeking and he said” May I mind the class,mam?” I looked around, and my face lit as I saw the number of students was hardly to be counted in the fingers. But the enthusiasm of the boy was noteworthy. I answered in affirmation and with a line of sermonizing which I have learnt to do over a period of time thinking it suits my role as an educator, I moved towards my staff room.

Within a flash of second, a line of thought crossed my mind. The surprising encounter with the gullible student in the morning taught me with an underlying issue that seems to be a root cause of so many problems. It is the act of domination and controlling others by our thoughts, deeds and actions. We are teaching at the tender years to our children to have an understanding that you are considered to be supreme when you are able to make people do what we want them to do. I wouldn’t term it as a negative trait but trust me it is an underlying current of most of the emotions and conflicts within and without. It says Charity begins at home and we are taught to interfere in others life. Can you understand this internal makeover and the typical pretense of leading a life of superficiality and farce? This emotional handicap mars us to embrace others with their faults. No one in our cosmos is allowed to make mistakes and learn. In fact, we become intolerable to the offences made by others whereas we forgive ourselves so easily. The resultant should always be as our expectations.

This, according to me, is a trait which handicaps us with the most essential quality of life that is minding ourselves and own business. We are educated to point out the fault in others and always blame someone else for about anything under the sun.

Now, if the laws of nature are correct then I had learnt in my school days the first Law of Newton “To every action, there is equal and opposite reaction”. The off recent reports of the exploding pollution levels in the capital seem to be alarming and have gained attention of all. Decrees are formulated which beget negative feedback, blame game is the easiest resort to escapism. Instead of assuming responsibility and joining hands together for changing for the common good, we are all trapped in our basic tendencies of pulling others down. Together Everyone Achieves More is a common adage and there is no replacement of teamwork. Working together in unison probably is the only solution possible if we wish to create a better world-literally and symbolically. We must learn to give ourselves opportunity so that we can change. Blindfolded acceptance of age old ideologies and not changing with the changing times is the sign of stagnation and we should be not afraid of the movement but be scared of being still. The people adaptable to the imminent required changes are the real educated of our times.

Being a teacher it becomes easy to observe and learn. It is a lame excuse for others at pin pointing at me that your behavior reflects the teacher element dormant in you but I am made to think that is it so difficult to change ourselves and learn at any point of time?

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑